Sigle

ADN est le sigle de l'Association Nationale des Dyslexiques

A Flying students' diary..

(I found this somewhere a long time ago, but I can't remember where. Please help me if you know, so I can give credit to the author)

Lesson 1: Rain

Lesson 2: Rain

Lesson 3: No rain; no visibility either

Lesson 4: Take instructor to lunch. Discover I don't know enough to take instructor to lunch.

Lesson 5: Fly! Do first stall and second stall during same maneuver. Cover instructor with lunch.

Lesson 6: Learned not to scrape frost off Plexiglas with ice-scraper. Used big scratch as marker to set pitch.

Lesson 7: Instructor wants me to stop calling throttle "THAT BIG KNOB THING." Also hates when I call instruments "GADGETS"

Lesson 8: Radios won't pick up radio stations, so I turned them off. Instructor seems to think I missed something.

Lesson 9: Learned 10 degree bank is not a steep turn. Did stall again today. Lost 2000 feet. Instructor said that was some kind of record -- my first compliment.

Lesson 10: Did steep turn. Instructor said I was not ready for inverted flight yet.

Lesson 11: Instructor called in sick. New instructor told me to stop calling her "BABE". Did steep turns. She said I had to have permission for inverted flight.

Lesson 12: Instructor back. He told me to stop calling him "BABE", too. He got mad when I pulled power back on takeoff because the engine was to loud.

Lesson 13: Instructor said after the first 20 hours, most students have established a learning curve. He said there is a slight bend in mine. Aha--progress!

Lesson 14: Did stalls. Clean recovery. Instructor said I did good job. Also did turns around a point. Instructor warned me never to pick ex-fiancee’s house as point again.

Lesson 15: Did circuit work. Instructor said that if downwind, base and final formed a triangle, I would be perfect. More praise!

Lesson 16: First landing at a controlled field. Did fine until I told the captain in the 747 ahead of us on the taxiway to move his bird. Instructor says we'll have ground school all this week on radio procedures.

Lesson 17: Asked instructor if everyone in his family had turned grey at such an early age. He smiled. We did takeoff stalls. He says I did just fine but to wait until we reached altitude next time. Three Niner Juliet will be out of the shop in three days when the new strut and tire arrive. Instructor says his back bothers him only a little.

Lesson 18: Flew through clouds. I thought those radio towers were a lot lower. I'm sure my instructor is going grey.

Lesson 19: Left flaps down for entire flight. Instructor asked way. I told him I wanted the extra lift as a safety margin. More ground school.

Lesson 20: Asked instructor when I could solo. I have never seen anyone actually laugh until they cried before.

The Greatest Lies in Aviation

• I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.
• Me? I've never busted minimums.
• We will be on time, maybe even early.
• Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
• I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
• I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
• All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
• I'm a member of the mile high club.
• I only need glasses for reading.
• I broke out right at minimums.
• The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
• Don't worry about the weight and balance -- it'll fly.
• If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.
• I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
• We shipped the part yesterday.
• All you have to do is follow the book.
• This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
• We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
• Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
• I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
• No need to look that up, I've got it all memorized.
• Sure I can fly it -- it has wings, doesn't it?
• We'll be home by lunchtime.
• Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
• I'm always glad to see the FAA.
• We fly every day -- we don't need recurrent training.
• It just came out of annual -- how could anything be wrong?
• I thought YOU took care of that.
• I've got the field in sight.
• I've got the traffic in sight.
• Of course I know where we are.
• I'm SURE the gear was down.

You know you've been flying too much when...

by Bill Adler - www.smoothsky.com


You pull out of your driveway and start to drive with your car centered on the dashed line

You spend so much time scanning for (airplane) traffic when driving that you forget there's a truck comming toward you

You pull into the parking lot and start turning off the radios, electrical equipment, and saying where's the dang mixture?

You use your car's parking break just before reaching your destination

You roll down the window and shout "CLEAR" before starting your car

You break through left turns and accelerate through right turns

You get really nervous about the skids around corners

You drive home from work - you start sequencing cars for the approach at a four way stop sign

You drive into a fog bank and immediately start to stare at the dashboard

You start logging the odometer readings on your car

You are lost in a strange city and you let go of the wheel and get out your map without pulling over or stopping

You tell the cop who pulled you over that you are allowed to go up to 250 below 10,000'

As you're merging onto the highway, you pull back on the wheel and don't get airborne. In panic, you abort the takeoff, and hit the breakes (This drives the guy in close trail with you crazy)

You get out of your car and start looking for the tiedown ropes.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you to Bill Adler for this fun piece. As it was given to me in a printed form and as this is not available on his www.smoothsky.com site anymore, I copied it here.

You have been fllying that damned airplane again

A fighter pilot goes to a bar after a good days flying. Whilst there he meets a young, attractive and available lady. She is charmed by his tales of aerial combat, high speed flight, and death defying feats. The inevitable happens and they slip away to somewhere more comfortable for an evenings intimate entertainment.

Much later that night the pilot drives home to his long suffering wife. On the way he puts on his oxygen mask and draws the straps up as tight as they will go. When he gets home he removes the mask and bravely enters the house. Immediately he tells the wife exactly and honestly what he has been up to that evening.

She replies: "Do not lie to me, I can see you have been flying that damned airplane yet again".

Aviation site with GPS deals

A new aviation site that lists the best aviation GPS deals on ebay

Turbulences

Heard about the Mile High Club?

Not feeling comfortable to walk back from the lavatories in a crowded airplane?

Mile High Atlanta offers an hour flight in a Piper Cherokee Six designed exclusively for this purpose for $249.



They have found a good way to get rid of the dirty sheets: "You get to keep your sheets as a souvenir of this special event".

How terrorists trained for 9/11

Ever wondered how they trained?



No credits for this picture. If you know its author, please leave a comment.

How to save space in your hangar

This is in Florida, after hurricane Charley.

Boeing 737 in your garage

This guy really knows what he wants. He wanted a realistic flight simmulator, he has got one!

He bought the flight deck of an old Boeing 737 and has adapted Microsoft Flight Simulator inside. He has installed the whole plane nose in his garage.

His wife must be really pleased!



Check out his web site: Matt Ford's 737 Project

Binary

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

I said hold short!

"Hold short" is the Air Traffic Control instruction to pilots that mean: stay on the holding point before the runway (and do NOT enter on the runway)

Pilots will appreciate...




Original picture from Airliners.net

I am perfect

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

The Royal Burgh of Elie & Earlsferry, Fife, Scotland

I am not even dead yet and I already have a town named after me: The Royal Burgh of Elie & Earlsferry, Fife, Scotland.

How cool is that?

How much money does flying take?

All of it!

Aviation proverbs

A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great landing is one after which you can use the airplane again.


The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival

Bad news

Thanks for my lovely sister for that very funny picture!

A true quote

I invented Ctrl + Alt + Del but Bill Gates made it famous!
- David Bradley, part of the IBM PC design team...

Your brain is a mess

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Are you a Geek?

A one-question geek test. If you get the joke, you're a geek:

Seen on a California license plate on a VW Beetle:

FEATURE

Leave me a comment if you get it. Thanks to the Vin'z for this joke.

If you really want to see how geeky you are, take
the Geek Test

Today's aviation proverb

Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

Today's aviation joke

Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt and both manage to bag a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, "This little plane won't lift all of us, the equipment, and both of those animals. You'll have to leave one. We'd never make it over the trees on the take off."

"That's baloney!" says one of the hunters. "Yeah," the other agrees, "you're just chicken. We came out here last year and got two moose and that pilot had some guts! He wasn't afraid to take off!"

"Yeah", said the first hunter, "and his plane wasn't any bigger than yours!"
The pilot got angry, and said, "Hell, if he did it, then I can do it! I can fly as well as anybody!"

They loaded up, taxied, then at full throttle took off. The plane almost made it but didn't have the lift to clear the trees at the end of the lake. It clipped the tops, then flipped, then broke up, scattering the baggage, animal carcasses, and passengers all through the brush.

Still alive, but hurt and dazed, the pilot sat up, shook his head to clear it, and said, "Where are we?"

One of the hunters rolled out from behind a bush, looked around and said, "I'd say... About a hundred yards further than last year."